11/7/25

ohh hell. i acidentally deleted minecraft from my computer. youve got to be shitting me. im not paying for it again. fuck me dude. ph wait we're fine it remembered me yayyay.
ok so it's been a bit. cool things have happened. I had a halloween party , went to my bff's birthday party. I'm getting on MC cause I wanna get on this server I was invited to but never got around playing on. This will be my first time even though it launched months ago,, lmao. I will admit. its techincally the 8th now because it's midnight. I'm thirsty but I dont feel like going downstairs. AT the same TIME, i dont wanna feel like shit tommorw because ive got work to do for school and my partner is coming over at 10am. hey, at least we'll get it over with. and my mom's getting me the biscut from my favorite bakery!! it hasnt been in season for a bit so seeing it back is a blessing. I got to sing some karyoke tonight and play some just dance. It all happened at my friend's b-day party which was very overwhelming but it got better as the evening went on. I really loved it when most of the folks left and it was just me, my friend and 3-4 other people. her mom made us tea and we were able to chill and chat. lovely decompression from that highstrung freshie fun pit(said with love, it was enjoyable. shoutout to daniel for being the goat)

11/14/25

I've got to move. I need to man. I haven't had my 30-60min of movement in a whole week it feels like. jeez I'm gonna get sick or something. I have a pitchdeck due Tuesday and there's stuff I want to do that doesn't involve movement. I have WTTD, I have my head I'm working on. I want to edit and work on cameras.., But, I'm about to go on a 4 hour train ride and then go to sleep so I need to move or something will happen man something will go down. This may be irrational thinking but it is just a general rule of thumb to get your blood pumping every day. oh boy. oh man.
ok sorry that was a lot. Updates: I made a Rat Comics page with comics I've made about my daily happennings. The biscut was too salty so I didn't like it. I did get Minecraft back, the filming went well and we finished our project in time. I'm trying to learn the 'Birdbrain teto' dance, I've been trying to get my friend to hop on MTMTE so we've been reading on call together with my other friend. I might start playing persona again(it's a good game, I'm just lazy) and might also start reading House of Leaves again(same issue xp)
I think I'm gonna go upstairs and get some movement in now, we're leaving for the train station in an hour or so.

11/19/25

Yesterday I went to sleep at 8pm because I was so stressed and didn't want to deal with all that. I still woke up at 5:45am dead tired and came to school so tired I didn't manage to eat breakfast before class. A good thing that happened though was that I had a great day yesterday. Happy and worry free! Also, I had a very vivid set of dreams last night which I'll detail here: my dream last night
I have an interview today where I have to walk these producers(?) through my pitch deck in 5 minutes or less. I think I can do it but my mom says I have to stop saying "um" so much. She says to say "next", "moreover", "therefore", "continuing on", "moving on", "so", "thus", "as a result", etc etc. So basically transition words instead. I'm feeling kind of bummed out because I'm tired all the time. I know I'm a teenager and all but I don't know..isn't this a little excessive? Plus my mom gets pissed off at me(rightfully so) every morning for not getting up. She has to yell at me like 5 times for me to even start moving. I'm not ignoring her because I want to, it's not really a choice. I’m just soo tired- and so is everyone else so I have no right to complain. It just really sucks ok? I mean there's things I want to do! I have schoolwork, extracurriculars, personal projects.. Hell I just want to create stuff sometimes but I'm so damn tired. Honestly, I want to get it checked out by a doctor, but I doubt anyone will be good with me doing that. I'm just overreacting to something everyone goes through.
Speaking of overreacting; I had a fluttering chest/heart pain last night and it continued into the morning which is unusual. Usually if I feel something like that, it's just heartburn or me being way too attuned to my own body, therefore it usually goes aay in the morning. Not this morning. Maybe it doesn't help I had such a vivid dream last night or that I was murdered in it.

11/23/25

In the coldest time of year, why is it so hot down here? Hotter than a crucible.. It aint right and it aint natural.
can you tell I watched Hadestown? I liked it. Hey you know what, I wanna get marrieddd and have a babyyyy I will have a beautiful wifeeeee and an adorable kiddd. Warm fuzzies wamr fuzzies. Man
Wayyy down hades town way down under the grounddd
im so dehydrated and tired. So much to do. So much i want to do. So little energy. So little motivation.. Oh well
btw my arts regressing I think I need need to study! I might be getting mor e stupid too. Ahh! (clark scream)